Happy New Year.
Please... clean up your acts this year.
Thank You.
I will too.
Okay.
Out.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Friday, December 27, 2013
Mkay, Goals For 2014
Gawsh, one year closer to me dying. Yeech.
Well, my friend is doing this so I decided to do it as well because I find it interesting and a good motivation for a post. Alright let us start with...
GOALS:
1. Be in the top Ten Overall
2.Give my best in every subject
3. Be more tidy.
4. Keep Reading.
5. Do more.
6. Fix myself.
7. Repair my self-esteem (this is going to be tough)
8. Be more outgoing.
9. Socialize more
10. Learn to trust others more (GAWSH WHAT?)
11. Don't be so mean to the guys.(DRAT I love doing thaaat~whines~I am like boy repellent)
12. Be more confident(try at least)
13. Be more industrious.
14. Join more co- curricular activities
15. Stand up for myself
16. Say what's on my mind.
17. Let it out
18. Learn self defense (or at least try to get stronger. I'm a pile of skin and bones, mate!)
19. Learn to eat more food.
20. Stay myself through thick and thin no matter how many changes I have. I'll always be me.
Thanks to everyone! What's yours?
Well, my friend is doing this so I decided to do it as well because I find it interesting and a good motivation for a post. Alright let us start with...
GOALS:
1. Be in the top Ten Overall
2.Give my best in every subject
3. Be more tidy.
4. Keep Reading.
5. Do more.
6. Fix myself.
7. Repair my self-esteem (this is going to be tough)
8. Be more outgoing.
9. Socialize more
10. Learn to trust others more (GAWSH WHAT?)
11. Don't be so mean to the guys.(DRAT I love doing thaaat~whines~I am like boy repellent)
12. Be more confident(try at least)
13. Be more industrious.
14. Join more co- curricular activities
15. Stand up for myself
16. Say what's on my mind.
17. Let it out
18. Learn self defense (or at least try to get stronger. I'm a pile of skin and bones, mate!)
19. Learn to eat more food.
20. Stay myself through thick and thin no matter how many changes I have. I'll always be me.
Thanks to everyone! What's yours?
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Long Time, Now's the Time
Here I am again. Yeah, I'm sorry for not posting for a long time but that's queer to say isn't it?
It's not like anyone cares if I post, right? I don' think blogs like these have fans and all that. Plus, this is my blog for how I feel or when I'm in the mood for it. So why am I apologizing? I don't know. Because maybe, just a small maybe, there is someone and we are all in duty to keep everyone happy.
So anyway, what I was really going to say was this:
HAVE A VERY MORBID CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
Spend it anyway you like just enjoy and to hell with what anyone else thinks!
Cheers my good people and don't keep wishing and start doing!
CARPE DIEM and even if I don't know you remember that I care for you.
STAY SAFE AND I LOVE YALL NO MATTER WHO YOU MAY BE!!
It's not like anyone cares if I post, right? I don' think blogs like these have fans and all that. Plus, this is my blog for how I feel or when I'm in the mood for it. So why am I apologizing? I don't know. Because maybe, just a small maybe, there is someone and we are all in duty to keep everyone happy.
So anyway, what I was really going to say was this:
HAVE A VERY MORBID CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
Spend it anyway you like just enjoy and to hell with what anyone else thinks!
Cheers my good people and don't keep wishing and start doing!
CARPE DIEM and even if I don't know you remember that I care for you.
STAY SAFE AND I LOVE YALL NO MATTER WHO YOU MAY BE!!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Peculiar Company
Just made a new poem this morning and also posted it on another social network but never mind that now.
I just broke my own heart.
Peculiar Company
If I had a house
I would call it a home
If there was a mouse
I would leave it alone
Late at night it would bite
and nibble and fight
In the morning it was gone
and I'd all alone
again
Every night I would wait
and it'd come at me with hate
But then it would go home
and I'd be left on my own
again
I would wait every night but this time with cheese
it'd come rushing with hate but it seemed very pleased
But in the morning it was gone
and I'd be alone
again
It was now less hostile so I gave it a bow
But the very next night it did not show
So here I was at home
very much alone
again
It was getting weird so i began to look around
I looked in its hole and sobbed to what I found
I was at home
left on my own
again
until the end
I just broke my own heart.
Peculiar Company
If I had a house
I would call it a home
If there was a mouse
I would leave it alone
Late at night it would bite
and nibble and fight
In the morning it was gone
and I'd all alone
again
Every night I would wait
and it'd come at me with hate
But then it would go home
and I'd be left on my own
again
I would wait every night but this time with cheese
it'd come rushing with hate but it seemed very pleased
But in the morning it was gone
and I'd be alone
again
It was now less hostile so I gave it a bow
But the very next night it did not show
So here I was at home
very much alone
again
It was getting weird so i began to look around
I looked in its hole and sobbed to what I found
I was at home
left on my own
again
until the end
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Stepping into Shoes that Aren't Yours
Argh..
WHYYYYYYYY.
So much restraint.
Too much control.
Hmm...
Have you ever tried to live another person's life?
Would you dare to step into their shoes?
Would you really take the risk of swapping with another person?
You could end up as a millionaire, or an actor or maybe even a god.
But then, you may also become a slave, a beggar or maybe just another regular Joe.
Would you?
I would.
That's what desperation is.
I just want to get out of this life.
I know I'm lucky. I know I have the essential things a human needs. But I feel so dissatisfied to the point I wish i were walking to a different school with a different name. Bullies would be fine with me.
Why do I feel this way?
Fine. I'll change the question to make it easier.
WHAT is making me feel this way?
WHYYYYYYYY.
So much restraint.
Too much control.
Hmm...
Have you ever tried to live another person's life?
Would you dare to step into their shoes?
Would you really take the risk of swapping with another person?
You could end up as a millionaire, or an actor or maybe even a god.
But then, you may also become a slave, a beggar or maybe just another regular Joe.
Would you?
I would.
That's what desperation is.
I just want to get out of this life.
I know I'm lucky. I know I have the essential things a human needs. But I feel so dissatisfied to the point I wish i were walking to a different school with a different name. Bullies would be fine with me.
Why do I feel this way?
Fine. I'll change the question to make it easier.
WHAT is making me feel this way?
Monday, November 18, 2013
An Exceptionally okay Monday
Well, I had an exceptionally okay Monday which is weird.
Mr. Facuri is sick with the fever, according to my resources.
In English, instead of watching Hamlet, we did an exercise.
We wrote down three things that makes us happy or inspires or motivates us and three that frustrate or stress us.
THREE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:
Elizabeth Gillies
Victorious
Music
THREE THINGS THAT FRUSTRATES/STRESSES ME
Classmates
Family
Myself
And we had to explain, as if to an elementary child, an excerpt from Hamlet: To be or not to be.
It was difficult, I suppose because I am more acquainted to speaking with adults and explaining such a topic with a child deemed quite cruel to me as if i were already vanquishing their hope in the world at such a young age but I kept well in mind that it would be my teacher reading this and not a mere child.
Sometimes I just don't have the motivation or the inspiration to write very sad blogs anymore. But when I do, I will. I sometimes think that maybe I want to be sad and alone.
Which makes me even more depressed.
Mr. Facuri is sick with the fever, according to my resources.
In English, instead of watching Hamlet, we did an exercise.
We wrote down three things that makes us happy or inspires or motivates us and three that frustrate or stress us.
THREE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:
Elizabeth Gillies
Victorious
Music
THREE THINGS THAT FRUSTRATES/STRESSES ME
Classmates
Family
Myself
And we had to explain, as if to an elementary child, an excerpt from Hamlet: To be or not to be.
It was difficult, I suppose because I am more acquainted to speaking with adults and explaining such a topic with a child deemed quite cruel to me as if i were already vanquishing their hope in the world at such a young age but I kept well in mind that it would be my teacher reading this and not a mere child.
Sometimes I just don't have the motivation or the inspiration to write very sad blogs anymore. But when I do, I will. I sometimes think that maybe I want to be sad and alone.
Which makes me even more depressed.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Love This Vid!
http://instagram.com/p/gY6Pbotw6P/
Aww Liz Gillies! hahah I love how she looks in this vid! If there are any other Gillians out there, I Salute Yall!
Aww Liz Gillies! hahah I love how she looks in this vid! If there are any other Gillians out there, I Salute Yall!
Another Entry
So, here's another entry I wrote before. The first paragraph was from a reflection paper I wrote on Nick Vujicic:
" I have limbs. I have sisters. I have a brother. I have parents. I have a home. Who am I to be unhappy?"
What if my parents don't love me? What if my sisters hate me? What if my brother annoys me? What if my house doesn't shelter me? Who am I to BE happy?
a girl asked me this. this girl was me. i asked myself this. but this isn't me. so i imagined a girl.
a girl who was lonely. heartbroken. ignored. only known in one window of Johari's windows. a girl who had everything. yet, nothing. a girl who was very happy yet very depressed. a girl whose eyes shine yet plead for something more. full of sorrow yet to everyone else is happy. the most caring person yet the most selfish. what was she then? nothing. positive plus negative equals zero. she was smart but silly. she had a cheerful laugh louder than the sobs inside. how do i know this girl? because this girl. is. was. always. never.me. two letters yet everything. one word yet a whole page full of words. me. me. me. who is me? who am i? i'd like to know. too bad i can't google it. too bad. too bad. too good. too me. too you. too much. too little. no. no. yes. yes. stop. balance. never too. because there is balance. when you have too much, you have too little of something else.
" I have limbs. I have sisters. I have a brother. I have parents. I have a home. Who am I to be unhappy?"
What if my parents don't love me? What if my sisters hate me? What if my brother annoys me? What if my house doesn't shelter me? Who am I to BE happy?
a girl asked me this. this girl was me. i asked myself this. but this isn't me. so i imagined a girl.
a girl who was lonely. heartbroken. ignored. only known in one window of Johari's windows. a girl who had everything. yet, nothing. a girl who was very happy yet very depressed. a girl whose eyes shine yet plead for something more. full of sorrow yet to everyone else is happy. the most caring person yet the most selfish. what was she then? nothing. positive plus negative equals zero. she was smart but silly. she had a cheerful laugh louder than the sobs inside. how do i know this girl? because this girl. is. was. always. never.me. two letters yet everything. one word yet a whole page full of words. me. me. me. who is me? who am i? i'd like to know. too bad i can't google it. too bad. too bad. too good. too me. too you. too much. too little. no. no. yes. yes. stop. balance. never too. because there is balance. when you have too much, you have too little of something else.
What's Unfair?
Here's an entry that I wrote in one of my notebooks before:
What's unfair? Life? People? Everything?
In turns of event people blame life for being "unfair". So to end it, they end their lives. It's not the wisest choice but they think it is.
Pity.
Speaking of pity, when did having pity actually help?
You may have it but what do you make of it?
Do you think pity alone will actually help?
It's a start of course, but where is the finish?
You have to finish what you start but frankly people do not.
Do you have pity?
Maybe, but do you have understanding?
Obviously, you need to understand, you need to know, before you pity.
People pay attention to people who are poor, who starve and people who are visibly troubled.
Now, why emphasize visibly?
People wouldn't understand enough to look deep into a person and think about what he's going through.
If you saw someone fall on the ground you'd feel sorry for them.
When you see a deep hole, do you bother looking in?
Someone may be down there.
But you didn't look into it.
You didn't look through that much.
Do you get it?
What's unfair? Life? People? Everything?
In turns of event people blame life for being "unfair". So to end it, they end their lives. It's not the wisest choice but they think it is.
Pity.
Speaking of pity, when did having pity actually help?
You may have it but what do you make of it?
Do you think pity alone will actually help?
It's a start of course, but where is the finish?
You have to finish what you start but frankly people do not.
Do you have pity?
Maybe, but do you have understanding?
Obviously, you need to understand, you need to know, before you pity.
People pay attention to people who are poor, who starve and people who are visibly troubled.
Now, why emphasize visibly?
People wouldn't understand enough to look deep into a person and think about what he's going through.
If you saw someone fall on the ground you'd feel sorry for them.
When you see a deep hole, do you bother looking in?
Someone may be down there.
But you didn't look into it.
You didn't look through that much.
Do you get it?
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Wanna Know Me? Well, a bit of me, really.
Everyone has those me, me, me and me! moments I'm sure.
Yes, So i'm going to share things I love, hate, memories and maybe even secrets. Enjoy and make the most of it!
What I Love
Victorious-
a Nickelodeon show. I know all those 90's kids think it's lame and that their cartoons are cool. Yes, 90's kids got it good but you have to understand it's not our fault we were born a few years too late. Technically I am a 90's kid but I'm not really qualified in their opinion. (-_-) I Love Victorious! It is so funny! I don't find lots of these funny so I was really happy! I've already watched all the episodes and i silently broke down when it ended abruptly. I love simple things so if it bugs you, you can leave now.
Stuffed Toys- I love 'em! They are so adorable and cuddly! If you're alone at night, need someone to hug, no prob! They've got your back! They listen to anything and never spill the beans. You DO need to talk to someone. And when I'm sadistic and mean I rough 'em up. I apologize afterwards, those poor things.
Animals- I'm an animal lover! But my parents don't allow us to have pets. Well, we did have eleven hamsters before. They're all dead now. It's a long story with them. They were bought in groups so don't judge me. We also had rabbits. Two main ones and their babies. They all gradually disappeared. Our two main ones had the freedom to roam around the whole village and only come home whenever they felt like it. They came back daily but they suddenly disappeared. Our hunches is that someone took them. They were just too cute!
Music- I'm not into the really mainstream music with uselessness or about love and raps. I'm usually the soft music lover or songs that have lovely meanings etc. Or if they express a lot of emotions. I also like alternative rock. Mostly Paramore and Bastille. I also like Owl City like my friend, Mr. Facuri. :)
Jackets- any jacket at all! I wear them all the time! I feel so bare without them! I love wearing the hoods for that emo effect. But mostly because my face and ears are cold.
Candy- i mean who doesn't? Mostly gummies, lollipops and gum. I LOVE GUMBALLS FROM THE GUMBALL MACHINE. Ohhh~ I always have the urge to have something in my mouth or more specifically something to chew on. Ball pen caps are kinda not for that job. At all. So GUM IT IS!
Vanilla Ice Cream- It's really smooth and not too sweet. And I just love it!
Elizabeth Egan Gillies! -
OMG I LOVE HERRR!! She plays my fave character from Victorious. Jade West! She's the mean girl of the bunch and she's like a frenemy and she is super funny not to mention pretty! Her eyes are so pretty URGH. I wish I had those eyes.. Blue green!
Saoirse Una Ronan-
Yup. My diisplay picture. Eeep! She plays really cool roles! I've liked her ever since I saw her on the Lovely Bones and made a point of watching all her works. Still workin on it but her latest work I've watched of hers is Byzantium with Gemma Arterton! She's also a good actress. Gemma Arterton, I mean. She was in Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters with Jeremy Runner the guy who plays Hawkeye.
Chloe Grace Moretz -
Kick-A--! and part two as well! I am getting quite irritated how everyone is now suddenly liking her because of Carrie. I know it's good that she gets famous but I feel sort of sad. Urgh i hate it. But Good job Chloe Moretz! You really know how to kick butt!
Mia Wasikowska-
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Eeep! Alice in Wonderland, Stoker!! She is so great! I love how she smiles especially in Stoker! All of my idols are so pretty what do I do. (-__-)
Rugrats- my favorite childhood show ever! A Baby's Gotta Do What a Baby''s Gotta Do! DYK That the E.G. Daily, the voice of Tommy is in The Voice 5! Cool! this babies are super cute and have a ton of imagination!
Shoes- not those high heels used to stab people. Nah, I'm more of the rubber shoes gal. I love Vans and Converse! I love those but i hate how my feet are so big \(-___-)/ Oh well...
WHAT I HATE
I hate it when my hair is wet and hot. Like you take a bath and suddenly the sun is all up in your face and hair causing it to get warm! GROSS. GROSS. GROSS.
I hate being controlled. I am controlled all the time. Don't do this, don't do that. You're restraining me! You control how I'm supposed to feel! Sooner or later they'll tell me to modulate my breathing! Loosen my chains! I'm not going to get knocked up if you let me express myself!
I hate when people judge me or when they think they know me. You don't know me! All you have is a pinch of second hand information so now you're an expert on me? Jeez!
I hate coffee. I know I'm supposed to love coffee. Most teens do but I hate it. I don't like how it tastes. It's bitter! Why do you like that!? Liz Gillies doesn't drink coffee as well! :) She prefers tea but her character Jade loves it but all she really drinks is water dyed brown! :)) I also don't like liquor. I don't get how addictive that is. My family made me taste it before as experience but it was awful. Why not get addicted to juice which actually tastes good? I know I know. I can hear you know. We drink to escape. We drink to feel. But I wish there was a better way.
I hate being bossed around. I'm the youngest that does not mean I am your P.A. I am older than my brother so I am responsible for HIM. Will this never end!? AHHHHHHHHH!!!
I hate mean people. Or people who compare other people. Everyone is not like the next person. People have good things so stop focusing on the bad things! I know I qualify as one of them but let's not go too far, people.
MEMORIES
My best memory was actually this year. If you ever asked me for my favorite moment before that I would have no clue. But This is it. It makes me happy even to this day.
So...
NICK TOOK OVER OUR SCHOOL.
I was too old for the games and quite annoyed because those children were squandering what they had while we older kids had waited our whole lives for this moment. Nonetheless as i entered the place I was filled with suppressed excitement. Nick songs were playing and it was awesome! Me and a couple of friends went towards the fence disclosing the game grounds. We saw the Slime Book and dearly wanted to go in it. But only winners could go in.
They were asking Nick questions and the people who answered correctly got slimed!We were ecstatic! I never show excitement in public but i was practically screaming my head off.
She asked a question addressing us as "the eager girls" but we didn't know the answer! It was too hard! Robot and Monster..
She asked the next question and really hoped we could answer.
"Now this next question is about the hit show "Victorious...."
I couldn't hear the rest!
I was flipping out! i was raising my hand and saying "Me! ME! MEEEE!"
She finished the question and came to me.
I hadn't actually heard the question but I asked her and she repeated it.
"Who is this child-like character who is uber emotional...."
I KNOW THE ANSWER, I thought.
Then I said i knew the answer and she asked for my name.
Then I said the answer.
CAT VALENTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I exploded. And there was a rush of warmth as the SLIME HIT US. My face was covered and my glasses were as well but I didn't care! We ran off and my friends hugged me but the lady called my name so I could get my prize.
I pulled away from the hugs and thanked her.
I GOT, AND STILL HAVE, TWO NICK PENCILS AND TEN LONG ROWS OF STICKERS. Four stickers on each row. so that was 40 stickers :) I Had two Victorious Stickers and I was so happy.
I'm sorry if this seems silly to you but I don't care! BEST DAY EVER! (leans back and shuts eyes and smiles weakly)
Well, that's all I wanna say. Hahah thank you for reading and having the initiative to try to know me. Thank you :)
Yes, So i'm going to share things I love, hate, memories and maybe even secrets. Enjoy and make the most of it!
What I Love
Victorious-
Stuffed Toys- I love 'em! They are so adorable and cuddly! If you're alone at night, need someone to hug, no prob! They've got your back! They listen to anything and never spill the beans. You DO need to talk to someone. And when I'm sadistic and mean I rough 'em up. I apologize afterwards, those poor things.
Animals- I'm an animal lover! But my parents don't allow us to have pets. Well, we did have eleven hamsters before. They're all dead now. It's a long story with them. They were bought in groups so don't judge me. We also had rabbits. Two main ones and their babies. They all gradually disappeared. Our two main ones had the freedom to roam around the whole village and only come home whenever they felt like it. They came back daily but they suddenly disappeared. Our hunches is that someone took them. They were just too cute!
Music- I'm not into the really mainstream music with uselessness or about love and raps. I'm usually the soft music lover or songs that have lovely meanings etc. Or if they express a lot of emotions. I also like alternative rock. Mostly Paramore and Bastille. I also like Owl City like my friend, Mr. Facuri. :)
Jackets- any jacket at all! I wear them all the time! I feel so bare without them! I love wearing the hoods for that emo effect. But mostly because my face and ears are cold.
Candy- i mean who doesn't? Mostly gummies, lollipops and gum. I LOVE GUMBALLS FROM THE GUMBALL MACHINE. Ohhh~ I always have the urge to have something in my mouth or more specifically something to chew on. Ball pen caps are kinda not for that job. At all. So GUM IT IS!
Vanilla Ice Cream- It's really smooth and not too sweet. And I just love it!
Elizabeth Egan Gillies! -
Saoirse Una Ronan-
Chloe Grace Moretz -
Mia Wasikowska-
.jpg)
Rugrats- my favorite childhood show ever! A Baby's Gotta Do What a Baby''s Gotta Do! DYK That the E.G. Daily, the voice of Tommy is in The Voice 5! Cool! this babies are super cute and have a ton of imagination!
Shoes- not those high heels used to stab people. Nah, I'm more of the rubber shoes gal. I love Vans and Converse! I love those but i hate how my feet are so big \(-___-)/ Oh well...
WHAT I HATE
I hate it when my hair is wet and hot. Like you take a bath and suddenly the sun is all up in your face and hair causing it to get warm! GROSS. GROSS. GROSS.
I hate being controlled. I am controlled all the time. Don't do this, don't do that. You're restraining me! You control how I'm supposed to feel! Sooner or later they'll tell me to modulate my breathing! Loosen my chains! I'm not going to get knocked up if you let me express myself!
I hate when people judge me or when they think they know me. You don't know me! All you have is a pinch of second hand information so now you're an expert on me? Jeez!
I hate coffee. I know I'm supposed to love coffee. Most teens do but I hate it. I don't like how it tastes. It's bitter! Why do you like that!? Liz Gillies doesn't drink coffee as well! :) She prefers tea but her character Jade loves it but all she really drinks is water dyed brown! :)) I also don't like liquor. I don't get how addictive that is. My family made me taste it before as experience but it was awful. Why not get addicted to juice which actually tastes good? I know I know. I can hear you know. We drink to escape. We drink to feel. But I wish there was a better way.
I hate being bossed around. I'm the youngest that does not mean I am your P.A. I am older than my brother so I am responsible for HIM. Will this never end!? AHHHHHHHHH!!!
I hate mean people. Or people who compare other people. Everyone is not like the next person. People have good things so stop focusing on the bad things! I know I qualify as one of them but let's not go too far, people.
MEMORIES
My best memory was actually this year. If you ever asked me for my favorite moment before that I would have no clue. But This is it. It makes me happy even to this day.
So...
NICK TOOK OVER OUR SCHOOL.
I was too old for the games and quite annoyed because those children were squandering what they had while we older kids had waited our whole lives for this moment. Nonetheless as i entered the place I was filled with suppressed excitement. Nick songs were playing and it was awesome! Me and a couple of friends went towards the fence disclosing the game grounds. We saw the Slime Book and dearly wanted to go in it. But only winners could go in.
They were asking Nick questions and the people who answered correctly got slimed!We were ecstatic! I never show excitement in public but i was practically screaming my head off.
She asked a question addressing us as "the eager girls" but we didn't know the answer! It was too hard! Robot and Monster..
She asked the next question and really hoped we could answer.
"Now this next question is about the hit show "Victorious...."
I couldn't hear the rest!
I was flipping out! i was raising my hand and saying "Me! ME! MEEEE!"
She finished the question and came to me.
I hadn't actually heard the question but I asked her and she repeated it.
"Who is this child-like character who is uber emotional...."
I KNOW THE ANSWER, I thought.
Then I said i knew the answer and she asked for my name.
Then I said the answer.
CAT VALENTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I exploded. And there was a rush of warmth as the SLIME HIT US. My face was covered and my glasses were as well but I didn't care! We ran off and my friends hugged me but the lady called my name so I could get my prize.
I pulled away from the hugs and thanked her.
I GOT, AND STILL HAVE, TWO NICK PENCILS AND TEN LONG ROWS OF STICKERS. Four stickers on each row. so that was 40 stickers :) I Had two Victorious Stickers and I was so happy.
I'm sorry if this seems silly to you but I don't care! BEST DAY EVER! (leans back and shuts eyes and smiles weakly)
Well, that's all I wanna say. Hahah thank you for reading and having the initiative to try to know me. Thank you :)
Friday, November 8, 2013
HIGHLY ADDICTIVE
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151878429558876
I found this on Facebook and i literally can't Stop. I need help. Don't watch it once. Or five times. Watch it even more. Then you'll realize.... YOU CAN'T STOP. BEST FIVE SECONDS OF MY LIFE... ON REPLAY
I found this on Facebook and i literally can't Stop. I need help. Don't watch it once. Or five times. Watch it even more. Then you'll realize.... YOU CAN'T STOP. BEST FIVE SECONDS OF MY LIFE... ON REPLAY
THIS IS MY REACTION EVERY TIME I PRESS PLAY. GOD HELP ME.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
The Important Ones
Now, when i said the important ones what did you think about? Presidents, celebrities or even your gods. Am i right?
Well, for me, the important ones are these everyday people whom i come in contact with. We are up close and personal. We care for each other. They shape us. of course the people stated above are also important but do you meet them everyday? Do they greet you when they see you? these people are so important they don't really have time to say Hi or Hello to everyone they meet on the street. And maybe, YOU'RE the person on the street.
There are a few important people in my life. there should be more but I've carefully evaluated it.
First up, we have Mr. Facuri. We're not stating their real names so i don't come out as obvious, just so you know.
Mr. Facuri you are a special little boy. we introverts have to stay together don't we? For the rest of you who don't know Mister Facuri he is my classmate and we met two years back. i have classmates whom i met eight years back but he's my closest. He's a really funny guy.The best underdog if i ever saw one. I apologize to him if I don't laugh at his jokes or talk to him when i'm in my corner. (Okay, in my classroom there are four corners. (Duhh.) and I go to one secluded corner and sing there. Only a few people know what i actually do there so i look really lonely and weird to the others)
I lost the ability to appreciate a lot. I'm sorry if I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself but I love how you stick with me anyway.
Every time there's going to be field trips I always worry because I don't have a lot of people who might sit next to me. Well, if you ever need one Mr. Facuri, I'm your gal!
Sometimes i wish you were a girl or i was a guy so when we go to our retreat we could stay in the same dormitory and sleep next to each other.
i know it sounds weird everyone but we are just close friends. we've both established that we are not best friends or anything else.
Oh and yes, i'm a girl. in case you haven't noticed. I was chatting to someone I met on wattpad and she asked if i was a guy. Well, being me i wasn't offended but actually quite flattered to think I was a guy. You might think I actually want to be a guy and that i'm not a girl at all but I am! I am a Girl but I'm boyish. There's a difference between boyish and being a lesbian, people. So let's be clear here. Lots of people think they are just the same but they are not.
Anyways, this guy is very awesome.
And he's going to bring chips to school again! Me, him and another girl are going to sneak chips into our mouths during class. Eating in the classroom and bringing chips are banned to begin with but don't get me wrong.
I was actually a very good girl. Because i was too afraid to even just bend the rules a bit. But I've been influenced. What can you do? I feel sad when I think about this. I've broken my good girl record just by influence. I want to kick myself and revert back to the old me, but as Hannah Baker said: "You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is... now."
My grades are slipping as well.
But Mr. Facuri will always be with me. And i thank him so much for it. I love his friendship dearly but one time I fought with him.
I had my reasons. but you should know, if I want something I get it.
Hear me out, it may sound spoiled and all but it's like this.
If I don't want to be friends with you anymore, you have no power to change how I feel about you. Nothing. Nil. Your opinion does not exist. Or maybe I don't want you to hug me. (I hate physical contact. It feels weird. And it leaves this "thing" on me. Like a tingling and I hate it.)
You SHALL NOT hug me. If you ever do, and I'm sure some do, then I'm letting you. At least half of me is. Just in case you think I'm lying. I'm very stubborn, trust me. I have opinions but I listen to others. Some may think: "Nuh- uh! You stick with your own ideas in group works etc."
Hey genius, I want you to give me a valid reason for following your idea! I won't stumble head first into your idea if i'm going to find so many holes in it. I want you to defend your idea and prove me wrong! But you never do. Thus, proving my point.
ANYWAYS, we fought. But I loved our friendship. Love conquers all. I wanted it back. So I forgave you. i know I sound spoiled and snotty and maybe I am but I can always counter it with something nicer. (shrugs)
Now, we're friends again. And I am NOT going to let it go. Ever.
So Thank you.
For being an Important One in my life. (winks)
NEXT: My Former English Teacher Last Year
Aww C'mon Lexi! Tell me!! Pleaaaase! Is what I say to her most of the time. She really likes to keep me in the dark but I hate being kept in the dark.
I'm very persuasive.
Maybe I'll let her find my blog because me and Mr. Facuri found hers.
Thanks Mr. Facuri! I couldn't have done it without you! Oh, and he was also the one who helped me make a blog. He gave me the idea to make one! Thanks!
Hahhahah! Don't worry Lexi. One day, we'll have that famous hot chocolate. What started out as a joke turned into something real! Haha!
She's also an introvert everyone. As the saying goes: Birds of the same feather, flock together!
I have always liked her even if she was my teacher. She always smiled and I love English! But I'm not saying she was a fan favorite with my classmates, She became my adviser last year and I think she disliked us very much and if my classmates found out they wouldn't care. They'd battle it with their own hate. My classmates started everything! (insert face palm) She was actually really nice but my classmates never saw that. They were irritated because she wasn't like our former adviser. i wanted to scream to them: "NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME, YOU JERKS!" Yes, last part included.
they were jerks. They were mean. But If i ever said that they would just say I'm a teacher's pet etc.
Sigh... What am I gonna do with those guys.
there were a number of reasons why they didn't like her but I could easily smudge off their reasons with my thumb. They are just that insensitive and blind.
So, I'm so sorry Lexi.
I'm sorry because I never did much good.
I'm sorry I couldn't change their opinion.
But know this: You did nothing wrong. You were great. And you still are. Never let anyone get in your way.
She's really cool and she is not mainstream. I'm glad. But one thing we'll never have in common: She Loves Korean Drama and Music.
Sorry, not my type but you can have it!
We chat on FB which is tons of fun! She has a great imagination.
I didn't even know how our conversation led to her teddy bear which eats flesh who accompanies her in space. She never confessed that she gave him human sacrifices but I know she did!
You're a cool gal Lexi!
And stop saying I'm becoming a lady! I am a little girl who'll stay this way.
When I get older I'm gonna get a good job and maybe I'll be worthy meeting you.
That's what I plan to do. I'll grow older and graduate and get a life.
I'll probably be in my twenties so... in about .... I don't know! But you are nine years older than me! O_O
So if we meet, you'll be in your early thirties! Oh, don't worry. You'll still look young. I trust you.
So thank you for talking to me and listening to my rants.
You're the best Lexi!!! (thumbs up)
Last Important One: My Present English Teacher
Hello Ms.. hmm.. what codename should I put.....
Well, I'll just name you TNT.
You are really Explosive! Plus the last two are her initials!
For all you out there i think I am so lucky to have her as a teacher.
She spews jokes all over and is super funny!
She is really "different". You'll see why I put those " " later.
On the first day i actually got in trouble with her!
With none other than Mister Facuri! Hi again Mr. facuri!
Anyways, I got in trouble and was stock still in all of her classes. I always covered my mouth and looked at her with slightly wide eyes filled with terror and admiration. I half covered my mouth because i was stifling my laughs at her jokes.
She really is funny!
Well, usually first impressions last but I don't know. i thought I'd be a naughty girl forever in her eyes but I was actually pretty okay with her.
Then she gave us a seatwork. She paired us with people we weren't close with and we had to say something to them other people didn't know about.
I was terrified. Did i mention my old classmates were in the other section so i did not want to be in my current section? No? Well, now you know.
She paired me up with codename: KEVIN! I HATED KEVIN WITH ALL MY HEART. But that's a secret. Or not.
He didn't know I hated him and none of the others knew either. Only my close friends. he's a jerk as far as you know.
Do you know the movie 10 things I hate about you? Well there was a time where Kat said: "I guess being male and an A------ makes you worthy of our attention."
Well, that's him.
We were paired and I clammed up! I wouldn't talk to him. He screamed out to Ms. that I wouldn't talk so I screamed: I DON'T TRUST HIM!
I was smiling on the inside because he didn't know how to react to me. Most of them don't know what to do with me. i'm never the center of their jokes. GOOD..
So Miss swapped. Kevin stood up but she just pointed to me. I pang of fear hit me and I was so scared! But she was really nice and we shared some stuff (me with my jacket and hood over my head as usual) while I was tearing the tiny rubber bands off of my pencil just so my hands had something to do.
I was glad that I talked to her. She laughed a bit at what I said and then she said we were very similar.
Woah, okay. Cool!
I told her i was weird and I liked being weird. She told me No. I was not weird. I was just "different". Because weird is a negative adjective.
Then she asked me to submit a notebook to her so we could talk.
Well, for all you reading, she hasn't given it back yet. hahah
She's not done with it and we forget to ask and remember.
Oh, well.
So i wrote her a letter. We had studied something in her class that bugged me. I wrote it down and tucked it in my pocket.
All we had to do was write and I was reading the note I was half hoping I would not give her.
She asked what I was reading and she held out her hand. I gave it to her.
She read it and looked out me, smiling. "Oh, this is for me?"
I nodded vigorously. I copied and looked at the back. She was reading it! That scared me so much I wrote even faster.
DYK I can write without looking at what I'm writing. It makes my life easier. You can't guarantee the cleanest hand writing but I really do have horrible handwriting so what difference does it make?
Anyways, she asked to see me after class. I was like: WHAT DID I DO WHAT DID I DO WHAT DID I DO.
So after class I waited outside of her advisory class which was the grade four kids. That used to be my old section. We chatted and she was actually the very first person I had spilled my heart out to in a very long time.
One thing I liked very much is that she proved me wrong.
I needed that. Remember I need people to defend their ideas?
Well, she proved me wrong and I didn't fight back.
I liked that conversation. She taught me a great many things. Here are some snippets from the conversation:
Me: They think I'm immature.
Her: People who only see negative things in others are the real immature ones. (five star quote)
Me: I don't talk to anyone about how I feel.
Her: You'll have to tell someone or you'll go insane. (Ding ding ding! This is her! I quoted her from my previous post!)
Me: My friend told me that we just live to die. Don't we?
Her: So what you are saying is that life is useless?
Me: I.. uh..
Her: Saying that life is pointless, doesn't that mean you are doubting God?
Me: (SPEECHLESS AND IN AWE)
Me: I can't help but think about all these problems.
Her: Why do you think about problems that shouldn't me problems? It will just be you who will be stressed out.
Me: But why?
Her: We should stop asking why and start asking what. ( I LOVE THIS ONE THE MOST)
Me: (questions that can't be answered)
Her: Think about it. If all people asked the questions that you ask, they would start looking for answers. Then they would probably find some and think themselves as God. Then God would destroy the world like it says in Revelation. (this is a but messy because i dont remember it exactly but you get the whole thing)
She put all of those kindly and I was very happy and contented.
We finally had to leave and I when I reached the door she said: Don't think about too many questions!
And I playfully said back: Asking questions is a way of life!
Smiling, we left the classroom and I went home.
These people are great and what they all have in common is that they are there for me and I trust them. And trust me, i don't trust a lot of people. I thank them wholeheartedly for being there. Thank you.
Well, for me, the important ones are these everyday people whom i come in contact with. We are up close and personal. We care for each other. They shape us. of course the people stated above are also important but do you meet them everyday? Do they greet you when they see you? these people are so important they don't really have time to say Hi or Hello to everyone they meet on the street. And maybe, YOU'RE the person on the street.
There are a few important people in my life. there should be more but I've carefully evaluated it.
First up, we have Mr. Facuri. We're not stating their real names so i don't come out as obvious, just so you know.
Mr. Facuri you are a special little boy. we introverts have to stay together don't we? For the rest of you who don't know Mister Facuri he is my classmate and we met two years back. i have classmates whom i met eight years back but he's my closest. He's a really funny guy.The best underdog if i ever saw one. I apologize to him if I don't laugh at his jokes or talk to him when i'm in my corner. (Okay, in my classroom there are four corners. (Duhh.) and I go to one secluded corner and sing there. Only a few people know what i actually do there so i look really lonely and weird to the others)
I lost the ability to appreciate a lot. I'm sorry if I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself but I love how you stick with me anyway.
Every time there's going to be field trips I always worry because I don't have a lot of people who might sit next to me. Well, if you ever need one Mr. Facuri, I'm your gal!
Sometimes i wish you were a girl or i was a guy so when we go to our retreat we could stay in the same dormitory and sleep next to each other.
i know it sounds weird everyone but we are just close friends. we've both established that we are not best friends or anything else.
Oh and yes, i'm a girl. in case you haven't noticed. I was chatting to someone I met on wattpad and she asked if i was a guy. Well, being me i wasn't offended but actually quite flattered to think I was a guy. You might think I actually want to be a guy and that i'm not a girl at all but I am! I am a Girl but I'm boyish. There's a difference between boyish and being a lesbian, people. So let's be clear here. Lots of people think they are just the same but they are not.
Anyways, this guy is very awesome.
And he's going to bring chips to school again! Me, him and another girl are going to sneak chips into our mouths during class. Eating in the classroom and bringing chips are banned to begin with but don't get me wrong.
I was actually a very good girl. Because i was too afraid to even just bend the rules a bit. But I've been influenced. What can you do? I feel sad when I think about this. I've broken my good girl record just by influence. I want to kick myself and revert back to the old me, but as Hannah Baker said: "You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is... now."
My grades are slipping as well.
But Mr. Facuri will always be with me. And i thank him so much for it. I love his friendship dearly but one time I fought with him.
I had my reasons. but you should know, if I want something I get it.
Hear me out, it may sound spoiled and all but it's like this.
If I don't want to be friends with you anymore, you have no power to change how I feel about you. Nothing. Nil. Your opinion does not exist. Or maybe I don't want you to hug me. (I hate physical contact. It feels weird. And it leaves this "thing" on me. Like a tingling and I hate it.)
You SHALL NOT hug me. If you ever do, and I'm sure some do, then I'm letting you. At least half of me is. Just in case you think I'm lying. I'm very stubborn, trust me. I have opinions but I listen to others. Some may think: "Nuh- uh! You stick with your own ideas in group works etc."
Hey genius, I want you to give me a valid reason for following your idea! I won't stumble head first into your idea if i'm going to find so many holes in it. I want you to defend your idea and prove me wrong! But you never do. Thus, proving my point.
ANYWAYS, we fought. But I loved our friendship. Love conquers all. I wanted it back. So I forgave you. i know I sound spoiled and snotty and maybe I am but I can always counter it with something nicer. (shrugs)
Now, we're friends again. And I am NOT going to let it go. Ever.
So Thank you.
For being an Important One in my life. (winks)
NEXT: My Former English Teacher Last Year
Aww C'mon Lexi! Tell me!! Pleaaaase! Is what I say to her most of the time. She really likes to keep me in the dark but I hate being kept in the dark.
I'm very persuasive.
Maybe I'll let her find my blog because me and Mr. Facuri found hers.
Thanks Mr. Facuri! I couldn't have done it without you! Oh, and he was also the one who helped me make a blog. He gave me the idea to make one! Thanks!
Hahhahah! Don't worry Lexi. One day, we'll have that famous hot chocolate. What started out as a joke turned into something real! Haha!
She's also an introvert everyone. As the saying goes: Birds of the same feather, flock together!
I have always liked her even if she was my teacher. She always smiled and I love English! But I'm not saying she was a fan favorite with my classmates, She became my adviser last year and I think she disliked us very much and if my classmates found out they wouldn't care. They'd battle it with their own hate. My classmates started everything! (insert face palm) She was actually really nice but my classmates never saw that. They were irritated because she wasn't like our former adviser. i wanted to scream to them: "NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME, YOU JERKS!" Yes, last part included.
they were jerks. They were mean. But If i ever said that they would just say I'm a teacher's pet etc.
Sigh... What am I gonna do with those guys.
there were a number of reasons why they didn't like her but I could easily smudge off their reasons with my thumb. They are just that insensitive and blind.
So, I'm so sorry Lexi.
I'm sorry because I never did much good.
I'm sorry I couldn't change their opinion.
But know this: You did nothing wrong. You were great. And you still are. Never let anyone get in your way.
She's really cool and she is not mainstream. I'm glad. But one thing we'll never have in common: She Loves Korean Drama and Music.
Sorry, not my type but you can have it!
We chat on FB which is tons of fun! She has a great imagination.
I didn't even know how our conversation led to her teddy bear which eats flesh who accompanies her in space. She never confessed that she gave him human sacrifices but I know she did!
You're a cool gal Lexi!
And stop saying I'm becoming a lady! I am a little girl who'll stay this way.
When I get older I'm gonna get a good job and maybe I'll be worthy meeting you.
That's what I plan to do. I'll grow older and graduate and get a life.
I'll probably be in my twenties so... in about .... I don't know! But you are nine years older than me! O_O
So if we meet, you'll be in your early thirties! Oh, don't worry. You'll still look young. I trust you.
So thank you for talking to me and listening to my rants.
You're the best Lexi!!! (thumbs up)
Last Important One: My Present English Teacher
Hello Ms.. hmm.. what codename should I put.....
Well, I'll just name you TNT.
You are really Explosive! Plus the last two are her initials!
For all you out there i think I am so lucky to have her as a teacher.
She spews jokes all over and is super funny!
She is really "different". You'll see why I put those " " later.
On the first day i actually got in trouble with her!
With none other than Mister Facuri! Hi again Mr. facuri!
Anyways, I got in trouble and was stock still in all of her classes. I always covered my mouth and looked at her with slightly wide eyes filled with terror and admiration. I half covered my mouth because i was stifling my laughs at her jokes.
She really is funny!
Well, usually first impressions last but I don't know. i thought I'd be a naughty girl forever in her eyes but I was actually pretty okay with her.
Then she gave us a seatwork. She paired us with people we weren't close with and we had to say something to them other people didn't know about.
I was terrified. Did i mention my old classmates were in the other section so i did not want to be in my current section? No? Well, now you know.
She paired me up with codename: KEVIN! I HATED KEVIN WITH ALL MY HEART. But that's a secret. Or not.
He didn't know I hated him and none of the others knew either. Only my close friends. he's a jerk as far as you know.
Do you know the movie 10 things I hate about you? Well there was a time where Kat said: "I guess being male and an A------ makes you worthy of our attention."
Well, that's him.
We were paired and I clammed up! I wouldn't talk to him. He screamed out to Ms. that I wouldn't talk so I screamed: I DON'T TRUST HIM!
I was smiling on the inside because he didn't know how to react to me. Most of them don't know what to do with me. i'm never the center of their jokes. GOOD..
So Miss swapped. Kevin stood up but she just pointed to me. I pang of fear hit me and I was so scared! But she was really nice and we shared some stuff (me with my jacket and hood over my head as usual) while I was tearing the tiny rubber bands off of my pencil just so my hands had something to do.
I was glad that I talked to her. She laughed a bit at what I said and then she said we were very similar.
Woah, okay. Cool!
I told her i was weird and I liked being weird. She told me No. I was not weird. I was just "different". Because weird is a negative adjective.
Then she asked me to submit a notebook to her so we could talk.
Well, for all you reading, she hasn't given it back yet. hahah
She's not done with it and we forget to ask and remember.
Oh, well.
So i wrote her a letter. We had studied something in her class that bugged me. I wrote it down and tucked it in my pocket.
All we had to do was write and I was reading the note I was half hoping I would not give her.
She asked what I was reading and she held out her hand. I gave it to her.
She read it and looked out me, smiling. "Oh, this is for me?"
I nodded vigorously. I copied and looked at the back. She was reading it! That scared me so much I wrote even faster.
DYK I can write without looking at what I'm writing. It makes my life easier. You can't guarantee the cleanest hand writing but I really do have horrible handwriting so what difference does it make?
Anyways, she asked to see me after class. I was like: WHAT DID I DO WHAT DID I DO WHAT DID I DO.
So after class I waited outside of her advisory class which was the grade four kids. That used to be my old section. We chatted and she was actually the very first person I had spilled my heart out to in a very long time.
One thing I liked very much is that she proved me wrong.
I needed that. Remember I need people to defend their ideas?
Well, she proved me wrong and I didn't fight back.
I liked that conversation. She taught me a great many things. Here are some snippets from the conversation:
Me: They think I'm immature.
Her: People who only see negative things in others are the real immature ones. (five star quote)
Me: I don't talk to anyone about how I feel.
Her: You'll have to tell someone or you'll go insane. (Ding ding ding! This is her! I quoted her from my previous post!)
Me: My friend told me that we just live to die. Don't we?
Her: So what you are saying is that life is useless?
Me: I.. uh..
Her: Saying that life is pointless, doesn't that mean you are doubting God?
Me: (SPEECHLESS AND IN AWE)
Me: I can't help but think about all these problems.
Her: Why do you think about problems that shouldn't me problems? It will just be you who will be stressed out.
Me: But why?
Her: We should stop asking why and start asking what. ( I LOVE THIS ONE THE MOST)
Me: (questions that can't be answered)
Her: Think about it. If all people asked the questions that you ask, they would start looking for answers. Then they would probably find some and think themselves as God. Then God would destroy the world like it says in Revelation. (this is a but messy because i dont remember it exactly but you get the whole thing)
She put all of those kindly and I was very happy and contented.
We finally had to leave and I when I reached the door she said: Don't think about too many questions!
And I playfully said back: Asking questions is a way of life!
Smiling, we left the classroom and I went home.
These people are great and what they all have in common is that they are there for me and I trust them. And trust me, i don't trust a lot of people. I thank them wholeheartedly for being there. Thank you.
Make It Go Away!
I've realized that hating people is so easy to do. But I have this sweet disposition no matter how sadistic or how mean I am. I sometimes think I try too hard to be mean. i don't want to be a pushover! I don't want to love those who hurt me! Make it stop! I want to stop crying on the inside! I want to let the tears spill! I want them to see me, to know me! No, they don't deserve to know me! What did they ever do to deserve to know, really know who I am?!
Sometimes I get so upset. I say this in a calm manner but my head is twisting in so many ways I just can't get a grip. I feel like screaming and thrashing me head from side to side. But I can't. I'm not sure if I'll ever tell you why, but I hope.. you'll understand...
Why did I even want to make this blog?!
The people I know might find it! They'll laugh! Or even worse... they'll know.
So why did I make this? Why am i here?
Maybe.... Maybe I just wanted someone... someone to be there. Someone to listen. I met this awesome person recently (that's for a later post) but she told me: "You'll have to tell SOMEONE or you'll go insane."
Am i already insane? I haven't talked about stuff for a long time!
No. I'm still sane. I have my head intact. I have reason. I know what I'm doing.
Good. Slow and calm. Just stop the rush. Stop the waves from crashing... Just.. Let. Go.
At least for a little while.
Even for just a minute.
Breathe. Breathe.
Okay. I wish for a little wish that I wish I could have a wish to wish to wish what i wish to wish.
Do you get it? Good.
I want to stop the pain. I want to stop feeling. I want my life... to what? End? is that what I really want? Is that what suicidal people really want!? I don't think so. Suicide is just plan B. It is always plan B. When all else fails, right? How do I know what suicidal people think about? Am I suicidal??? No.
No.. I have to confirm it to myself. You. Are. Not. Suicidal.
Maybe this is just a phase. Everything gets better. Doesn't it? Yes it does, But I guess in my heart I know it doesn't. But we have to believe in something don't we?
Sometimes I get so upset. I say this in a calm manner but my head is twisting in so many ways I just can't get a grip. I feel like screaming and thrashing me head from side to side. But I can't. I'm not sure if I'll ever tell you why, but I hope.. you'll understand...
Why did I even want to make this blog?!
The people I know might find it! They'll laugh! Or even worse... they'll know.
So why did I make this? Why am i here?
Maybe.... Maybe I just wanted someone... someone to be there. Someone to listen. I met this awesome person recently (that's for a later post) but she told me: "You'll have to tell SOMEONE or you'll go insane."
Am i already insane? I haven't talked about stuff for a long time!
No. I'm still sane. I have my head intact. I have reason. I know what I'm doing.
Good. Slow and calm. Just stop the rush. Stop the waves from crashing... Just.. Let. Go.
At least for a little while.
Even for just a minute.
Breathe. Breathe.
Okay. I wish for a little wish that I wish I could have a wish to wish to wish what i wish to wish.
Do you get it? Good.
I want to stop the pain. I want to stop feeling. I want my life... to what? End? is that what I really want? Is that what suicidal people really want!? I don't think so. Suicide is just plan B. It is always plan B. When all else fails, right? How do I know what suicidal people think about? Am I suicidal??? No.
No.. I have to confirm it to myself. You. Are. Not. Suicidal.
Maybe this is just a phase. Everything gets better. Doesn't it? Yes it does, But I guess in my heart I know it doesn't. But we have to believe in something don't we?
Thirteen Reasons Why Quotes
I love this book because I can relate to it very much. So here are my favorite quotes which I apply to my life alot.
“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.”
“No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same.”
“You can't stop the future
You can't rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
...is to press play.”
“A lot of you cared, just not enough.”
“If my love were an ocean,
there would be no more land.
If my love were a desert,
you would see only sand.
If my love were a star-
late at night, only light.
And if my love could grow wings,
I'd be soaring in flight.”
“Sometimes we have thoughts that even we don't understand. Thoughts that aren't even true—that aren't really how we feel—but they're running through our heads anyway because they're interesting to think about.”
“You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is...now.”
“ If you hear a song that makes you cry and you don't want to cry anymore, you don't listen to that song anymore.
But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head.”
“When you try rescuing someone and discover they can't be reached, why would you ever throw that back in their face?”
“Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you—just a tad—off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you're able to pull it back. Yet no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much—too tiring—and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy... or whatever... to happen.”
“It's hard to be disappointed when what you expected turns out to be true.”
“I wanted people to trust me, despite anything they'd heard. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors. To see beyond the relationships I once had, or maybe still had but that they didn't agree with.”
“In the end....everything matters.”
“I sat. And I thought. And the more I thought, connecting the events in my life, the more my heart collapsed.”
“Maybe it didn’t seem like a big deal to you Zach. But now, I hope you understand. My world was collapsing. I needed those notes. I needed any hope those notes might have offered. And you? You took that hope away. You decided I didn’t deserve to have it. ”
“Sometimes we have thoughts that even we don’t understand. Thoughts that aren’t even true—that aren’t really how we feel—but they’re running through our heads anyway because they’re interesting to think about.
If you could hear other people’s thoughts, you’d overhear things that are true as well as things that are completely random. And you wouldn’t know one from the other. It’d drive you insane. What’s true? What’s not? A million ideas, but what do they mean?”
“I'm listening to someone give up. Someone I knew—someone I liked. I'm listening... but still, I'm too late.” -Clay
“That's why you did it. You wanted your world to collapse around you. You wanted everything to get as dark as possible.” -Clay
“You can hear rumors. But you can't know them.”
“And after I dropped him off, I took the longest possible route home... I explored alleys and hidden roads I never knew existed. I discovered neighborhoods entirely new to me. And finally... I discovered I was sick of this town and everything in it.”
“Because when you're posed, you know someone's watching. You put on your very best smile. You let your sweetest personality shine.”
“How can you call it love when it hurt you so badly?"
"It was love because it was worth it.”
“I can't. You can't rewrite the past.”
“When you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it.”
“The name sounds almost too perfect. And as I said, you look perfect, too. The only thing left... is to be perfect.”
There you go, everyone. I know this was really long and all but for those who stuck with me until the end, Thank You. Thank you very much. You see, when I read this, I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. I related to every single one of these quotes. And it hurt so bad. Me and a suicidal girl. Sounds... surreal. Actually, in real life, I know a guy named Zachary as well. He hurt me so bad without knowing it. Repeatedly. I didn't understand. So i never fought back. i took the pain. Finally, i got fed up and made a group filled with my trusted friends and the rules? Don't add Zak. But guess what? That's right, someone added him. We ended up having a fight and he thought "I" started it! The nerve! But my other friend tried saving us then she added my big sister. They both sided with Zak! MY OWN SISTER AND CLOSE FRIEND. WITHOUT Knowing The Truth. That hurt even more. Do you understand? No? Well, Keep Up!
Me and Hannah have different stories. But for some reason, these apply to the both of us. I know for myself, and don't mean to brag or anything but, I'm actually a pretty sweet kid. i really do care for others and try to understand their feelings. I know you must think I'm so self-centered but whatever you think about me is none of my business. I don't even know you. But you ALSO don't know me... How do i know I was sweet? well, everyone told me so. And I used to be so cheery. But when i went through highschool I lost myself. First year I was still hyped up and everything. Second year? Hmm. even my adviser noticed i became more quiet and less outgoing. Now in third year high school?? I am now a sadist, masochist, realist, pessimist but I still have my optimistic side. I'm a mix of all these. But I don't smile alot anymore. i'm quiet and anti-social. Why? What happened? Everyone. Their actions, words, things they didn't even realize, were the factors. Know that the people I'm surrounded by are SO INSENSITIVE. I hate this batch. But there are some good people too. But at times, everyone can be a little insensitive. like myself.
Well, this is becoming quite long so i'll stop. Till my Next Post. And Thank You for listening to me blabber away.
“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.”
“No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same.”
“You can't stop the future
You can't rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
...is to press play.”
“A lot of you cared, just not enough.”
“If my love were an ocean,
there would be no more land.
If my love were a desert,
you would see only sand.
If my love were a star-
late at night, only light.
And if my love could grow wings,
I'd be soaring in flight.”
“Sometimes we have thoughts that even we don't understand. Thoughts that aren't even true—that aren't really how we feel—but they're running through our heads anyway because they're interesting to think about.”
“You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is...now.”
“ If you hear a song that makes you cry and you don't want to cry anymore, you don't listen to that song anymore.
But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head.”
“When you try rescuing someone and discover they can't be reached, why would you ever throw that back in their face?”
“Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you—just a tad—off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you're able to pull it back. Yet no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much—too tiring—and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy... or whatever... to happen.”
“It's hard to be disappointed when what you expected turns out to be true.”
“I wanted people to trust me, despite anything they'd heard. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors. To see beyond the relationships I once had, or maybe still had but that they didn't agree with.”
“In the end....everything matters.”
“I sat. And I thought. And the more I thought, connecting the events in my life, the more my heart collapsed.”
“Maybe it didn’t seem like a big deal to you Zach. But now, I hope you understand. My world was collapsing. I needed those notes. I needed any hope those notes might have offered. And you? You took that hope away. You decided I didn’t deserve to have it. ”
“Sometimes we have thoughts that even we don’t understand. Thoughts that aren’t even true—that aren’t really how we feel—but they’re running through our heads anyway because they’re interesting to think about.
If you could hear other people’s thoughts, you’d overhear things that are true as well as things that are completely random. And you wouldn’t know one from the other. It’d drive you insane. What’s true? What’s not? A million ideas, but what do they mean?”
“I'm listening to someone give up. Someone I knew—someone I liked. I'm listening... but still, I'm too late.” -Clay
“That's why you did it. You wanted your world to collapse around you. You wanted everything to get as dark as possible.” -Clay
“You can hear rumors. But you can't know them.”
“And after I dropped him off, I took the longest possible route home... I explored alleys and hidden roads I never knew existed. I discovered neighborhoods entirely new to me. And finally... I discovered I was sick of this town and everything in it.”
“Because when you're posed, you know someone's watching. You put on your very best smile. You let your sweetest personality shine.”
“How can you call it love when it hurt you so badly?"
"It was love because it was worth it.”
“I can't. You can't rewrite the past.”
“When you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it.”
“The name sounds almost too perfect. And as I said, you look perfect, too. The only thing left... is to be perfect.”
There you go, everyone. I know this was really long and all but for those who stuck with me until the end, Thank You. Thank you very much. You see, when I read this, I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. I related to every single one of these quotes. And it hurt so bad. Me and a suicidal girl. Sounds... surreal. Actually, in real life, I know a guy named Zachary as well. He hurt me so bad without knowing it. Repeatedly. I didn't understand. So i never fought back. i took the pain. Finally, i got fed up and made a group filled with my trusted friends and the rules? Don't add Zak. But guess what? That's right, someone added him. We ended up having a fight and he thought "I" started it! The nerve! But my other friend tried saving us then she added my big sister. They both sided with Zak! MY OWN SISTER AND CLOSE FRIEND. WITHOUT Knowing The Truth. That hurt even more. Do you understand? No? Well, Keep Up!
Me and Hannah have different stories. But for some reason, these apply to the both of us. I know for myself, and don't mean to brag or anything but, I'm actually a pretty sweet kid. i really do care for others and try to understand their feelings. I know you must think I'm so self-centered but whatever you think about me is none of my business. I don't even know you. But you ALSO don't know me... How do i know I was sweet? well, everyone told me so. And I used to be so cheery. But when i went through highschool I lost myself. First year I was still hyped up and everything. Second year? Hmm. even my adviser noticed i became more quiet and less outgoing. Now in third year high school?? I am now a sadist, masochist, realist, pessimist but I still have my optimistic side. I'm a mix of all these. But I don't smile alot anymore. i'm quiet and anti-social. Why? What happened? Everyone. Their actions, words, things they didn't even realize, were the factors. Know that the people I'm surrounded by are SO INSENSITIVE. I hate this batch. But there are some good people too. But at times, everyone can be a little insensitive. like myself.
Well, this is becoming quite long so i'll stop. Till my Next Post. And Thank You for listening to me blabber away.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Let's Talk About Friends
How do you classify friends?
Acquaintance, friend, cool friend, close friend and finally the best friend which may evolve into the BFF.
I have a lot of these but I'm missing a section. that's right everyone.
The BFF.
Sure, anyone who is nice and funny and close to me is MY BFF, TragedyTeen. Gee, what's your deal?
A lot.
Friends are special for me and they must be considered with care. Just because you have lots in common etc. that means, wow! BFF 5EVER!
Wrong.
Everything that connects you and that person is just a string. A fiber in a rope. It get's thicker and thicker but the things that saws them apart? That's important. Make sure you're not holding onto a frail piece of string. Don't fool yourself.
I've been fooled.
It will never happen again.
Ever. Again.
Experience is the Best Teacher.
Acquaintance, friend, cool friend, close friend and finally the best friend which may evolve into the BFF.
I have a lot of these but I'm missing a section. that's right everyone.
The BFF.
Sure, anyone who is nice and funny and close to me is MY BFF, TragedyTeen. Gee, what's your deal?
A lot.
Friends are special for me and they must be considered with care. Just because you have lots in common etc. that means, wow! BFF 5EVER!
Wrong.
Everything that connects you and that person is just a string. A fiber in a rope. It get's thicker and thicker but the things that saws them apart? That's important. Make sure you're not holding onto a frail piece of string. Don't fool yourself.
I've been fooled.
It will never happen again.
Ever. Again.
Experience is the Best Teacher.
Here's a little poem i made for my class. i like rhyming poems with lots of meanings. Double meanings may occur :)
"Cold"
snow falls on the ground
my tears they turn to ice
my throat it makes no sound
for everything has a price
i am in an empty room
with people everywhere
but i don't look at them
for they would never care
i don't expect too much
i've learned a lot from them
my heart will never touch
those hearts that never fed
i don't know when it'll end
sometimes you never know
my heart it weeps in sorrow
for the fear it'll never go
"Cold"
snow falls on the ground
my tears they turn to ice
my throat it makes no sound
for everything has a price
i am in an empty room
with people everywhere
but i don't look at them
for they would never care
i don't expect too much
i've learned a lot from them
my heart will never touch
those hearts that never fed
i don't know when it'll end
sometimes you never know
my heart it weeps in sorrow
for the fear it'll never go
First Thoughts
I love school. I do truly.
My life consists of two places.
School and Home.
I Hate Both. They are my Prison Cells. I leave one to attend to the others. Yet, I find salvation in leaving my home to go to school.
People are the factors in which they become my chains. My bondage.
I'm an introvert. I am wrapped up in a jacket all day no matter how hot.
Hot? Not in my vocabulary.
I hate sweating. Thank goodness that's a rarity in my life.
I'm an immature brat. They say so.
That's because I like cartoons and sing kiddie songs. Woah, and I'm the one who screams and runs around the classroom like a bunch of jerks right? Oh, how horrid are these insensitive souls. But that's them and I'm me.
My life consists of two places.
School and Home.
I Hate Both. They are my Prison Cells. I leave one to attend to the others. Yet, I find salvation in leaving my home to go to school.
People are the factors in which they become my chains. My bondage.
I'm an introvert. I am wrapped up in a jacket all day no matter how hot.
Hot? Not in my vocabulary.
I hate sweating. Thank goodness that's a rarity in my life.
I'm an immature brat. They say so.
That's because I like cartoons and sing kiddie songs. Woah, and I'm the one who screams and runs around the classroom like a bunch of jerks right? Oh, how horrid are these insensitive souls. But that's them and I'm me.
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